Thanks for the laugh, truthfinder. I have seen this several times over the years. According to Wikipedia, this spoof first appeared in the January 1989 issue of The Physics Teacher. It was written by William DeBuvitz a physics professor at Middlesex County College in Edison, New Jersey.

I would imagine it's even funnier to read while stonned as a goat.

Mike, You made me spit out my coffee. Very funny.

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . ."

"Now give me back my dog."

(with apologies to Kucinich and Paul)

thanks gulliver, have seen it a few times but never knew who the author was.

kittyv:you sure that was a congerssman for the gov't or jongreen

truthfinder, I raise sheep and am also familiar with Jackasses.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JonGreen,MikeGruber:When I do post about something other that cannabis you come here and try to hijack it, I'm sure your both very familiar with jackasses!

Nothing a bong hit and a box of Captain Crunch won't cure....truthfinger!

Right, truthfinder puts something up, something funny and not related to cannabis and you act like a couple junior high kids (sorry, it that insults any 12-year-olds here). And then Kitty tells a funny politician joke that could go either way, left, right whatever, and you act stupid again. Geez, people. I notice Mike's last post was at almost 1am, were you up hitting the Capt. Crunch, too?

kittyv, I knew this joke and as soon as I started reading it I started laughing. Isn't it the truth.

Truthfinder for a minute I thought you were describing Tom Miller and his band od ASSistants

Thank you two for starting my day with a laugh

MikeGruber why do you come on this thread and make stupid jokes? is it because you know if you go to the cannabis posts and try to have an actual adult discussion on the subject you would have your ass handed to you by a "stoner"? please keep the comments actually in the same genre as the post, it was meant to be funny nothing more or less.

Gail,

"I notice Mike's last post was at almost 1am, were you up hitting the Capt. Crunch, too?"

No munchies here.

I just have not slept well since September 11, 2001.

truthfinder,

My posts were written with 100% humor as the goal as well.

Don't you think they are funny?

Burn a fatty and read them again...."as a goat"...."Capt. Crunch"......still nothing?

hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm?

Sorry I don't find ignorance funny. maybe you should go read a book and then try again.

You're COO-COO for Cocoa Puffs, nothing to be ashamed of.

Need milk?

truthfinder and kittv, I have never heard these stories before. Very funny. I got a good laugh out of both. Thanks, Chuckles R.

loomis and ChuxxR, I'm so glad you were amused :) Gail, Thank you.

I really wanted to take the high road here, but I can't seem to refrain from mentioning that Mike forgoes the Capt Crunch for Life cereal - "Give it to MIKEY, he won't eat it, HE HATES EVERYTHING" or that if that's 100% effort at humor it unfortunately failed to generate even a 1% on the humor scale. I suspect even a stoned goat (?huh?) would fail to find it funny. Mikey, I guess we can refer to you now as the Cereal Joke Killer. I know I should also refrain from any comment on Jon, his herd of sheep, and their collective sigh of relief that he's been getting "familiar" with jackasses. (just teasing Jon)

truthfinder - Thanks for the post!

Truthfinger,

Kitty's looking for the high road....can you hook her up?

lol, better than I thought, funny...

yes, I almost changed the wording, but figured what the hell.

But officer really, I was just trying to help this ewe over the fence.